The Weather and Standardized Tests

Last week I was driving to work; I was late because at 8:00 in the morning it was still 42 below zero and I envisioned myself driving off the road into snow and freezing in a moment. So I was late and driving slow like everyone else on the road. It was solid ice. I have a very smart car; it tells me such things like when I need to be in four-wheel drive (I pretty much keep in four-wheel drive all winter; why gamble with such things?) it tells me when I'm sliding (as if I might not notice) it tells me the temperature, it tells me what direction I'm going in, all the things I may not pay attention to - this car was made for me.

So I'm driving about 30 on a 60 mile per hour road and the radio announcer, with no hint of sarcasm at all, says "Today expect temperatures to reach a high of 0." I started laughing. It's ludicrous that I live where I live. I do not like snow. I do not like to be cold. I do not like to chop ice off the deck. I do not like to haul wood. But it was kind of funny. Living in such extreme weather gives me a certain amount of bragging rights. When I return to Oregon I can say things like, "32 degrees, you think this is cold??? Boy, when I lived in Colorado....."

Today the sun is out and the high reached 42. I went to the grocery store in a turtleneck, jeans and tennis shoes. Ian was outside wearing shorts and a sweatshirt. It's all relative.

We have to take CSAPs (which stands for something like Crazy Stupid Assessments Probably). It's the Colorado Standards Tests. Here's my reasoning on standardized tests; I don't want to take them. They have nothing to do with the curriculum, they do not integrate with the schools, they are merely for Colorado to see if students meets certain standards and do not tie into graduation. For a parent like me, they need to come up with some sort of threat, like if Ian doesn't take the CSAPs it will go on his PERMANENT RECORD.

My grandmother always threatened me with my PERMANENT RECORD. She said if you don't feed the pigs this will go on your PERMANENT RECORD. If you don't pick up your clothes from the stairs this will go on your PERMANENT RECORD. Pretty soon all my cousins were threatening me with my PERMANENT RECORD. If you tell Grandma we were smoking pot, it'll go on your PERMANENT RECORD. If you tell Grandma we stole the car, it'll go on your PERMANENT RECORD.

Besides, I have to drive Ian, four days in a row, to Steamboat Springs, one and a half hours away (on a good day). Every time I've been to Steamboat in the winter, they've closed the THE PASS (in Colorado, every road has a PASS that gets closed during winter weather.)

I've already petitioned to have the test moved to Steamboat; they originally had us scheduled to take it down in Denver and I hate Denver even on a good day. They probably won't take kindly to me petitioning to not take it because...
I don't want to drive.
I hate standardized tests.
I will not be in Colorado next year, so why should I care how the Colorado Department of Education looks?
There is no PERMANENT RECORD.