Wierd, True Things About Granby

My friend Tess is a lot like me - she does not like Granby and wishes she were anywhere else, even back in Mississippi where she is from. She also home schools her two children; Cody and Katie and probably for the same reasons as I do; the schools are of poor quality and in Katie's case, she'd get in nothin' but trouble....which, put a few years on Ian, and he will too.

We spend our down-time in the library reading People magazines and feeling quite culturally illiterate since we never recognize any of the movie stars unless they've died, which means they're about our age. (Does anyone out there know who Kim Kardashian is? Why is she so famous? Does she sing, dance, act????)

Like me, Tess thinks it's weird that when people die in Grand County someone puts a death notice up, eye-level, on the door leading into the post office. Like me, Tess thinks it's weird that the Fed-Ex place is also the Verizon place which is also the place to buy fudge, Christian CDs, copy off platte maps and visit the chiropractor. Like me, Tess refuses to wear pajama bottoms to the grocery store and we've both told our husbands to shoot us if we ever do this.

So Tess and I spend our time making lists of things that are normal in Granby, but not normal anywhere else.

Here's our list:

The Fabric Nook, in a pinch, can lend you lye.
The Hardware store stocks all the things you see Billy (now dead) selling on TV (The WOW SHAM, a cake-pan shaped like a donut and my favorite, the pedi-egg,)
If you want to find Skip in the morning go to JavaLava, if you want to find him in the afternoon, go to McDonald's.
Ian (not my Ian, another one) will deliver cheesecake to your house.
In the winter, you can drive your snowmobile on the airport runway; Skip can drive on the airport runway anytime he wants.
The place that sells carpet can also stuff dead animals for you.
On the Little H.O. Road there's a family that floods their yard in the winter and all the kids can "skate" there and you don't even need to sign a waiver.
You can always find candy at the Rec Department next to the City Hall.
If you run out of money at the Come 'n' Go they'll still let you but things, even gas, if you promise to come back and pay them.
You don't need permits to build barns or dig ponds.

I think I'll be out of here before Tess; her house is also for sale. But maybe that's just wishful thinking. But you know, after reading the list, those things also just might be the things I'll miss the most.