What I've learned this week

What I've learned this week as a homeschool "coach," (they don't call us teachers and there's a good reason for this.)

I've learned that Ian is much more pleasant then he was in public school.
I've learned that he can focus, contrary to what many of his teachers told me.
I've learned that he's happier and somewhat goofier than I realized.
I've learned he's much smarter than his teachers told me.


I've also learned that I can't convert meters into feet, or vice versa, but Ian can.
I've learned how to use the stopwatch on my phone so I can time him running and then convert meters into feet.
I've learned I don't know the formula for speed and distance, but Ian does.
I've learned that you can find this forumula on the internet but it's much quicker if I ask Ian.

I've learned that I don't know the three laws of gravity, but Ian does.
(I thought gravity had something to do with shooting an apple off of someone's head with a bow and arrow, but apparently there's more to it than that.)

I asked my oldest son, who is home from college, if he knew how to convert meters into feet. He said, "No."
"What am I paying $16,000 a year for you to learn if you don't know this?
"Geez Mom, I'm majoring in International Affairs, not Math."

I've also learned that it takes Ian about 20 minutes to finish his daily Math, so why are the class periods 50 minutes?

Well, I think they figure in the time it takes to take attendance, mark down late students, move disruptive ones around, mark down more late students, take a note from the office, find the folder with the assignment, explain again how to pass the papers to the student behind you, mark down another late student, move a disruptive one to another desk, figure out why the power point won't work, finally explain the lesson (the 20 minutes), answer seven questions that don't have to do with math, collect the assignment, collect the books, answer one more question and three minutes to pray for the bell to hurry and ring.

I know I'm still in the Honeymoon Period, but seriously, why didn't I do homeschooling years ago?

"Supplemental Activities" or...Sending Ian Next Door

One of Ian's requirements for homeschooling is for what is called "supplemental activities." These can range from going to the opera to watching a play or any variety of activities that are almost impossible to get a 13 year old boy to do.
So I had the brilliant idea to ask our neighbor Skip if he could teach Ian all the things that Mike, Ian's dad couldn't. Now my husband is practically brilliant when it comes to anything to do with our house. I know he could build one from the ground up. But when it comes to anything mechanical he says "Call Mike Garret down at HiCountry Motors." He can put windshield fluid in and check the oil, but that's his limit and he shows no inclination to discover the wonderful world of mechanics.
But Skip. Now Skip is brilliant in the world of mechanics.
When we first moved to Granby I thought Skip was about 60, but last year he celebrated his 82 birthday. I know he looks and acts younger than his years because he is always "tinkering." So I thought that maybe Skip would be willing to take Ian on.
So I wandered over there one day and proposed that I pay him to tutor Ian in the fine art of "tinkering."
"Oh hell," he said, "just send him over after I get done haying."
Skip has upteem acres of what many people would term "junk," but to 13 year old boys, Skip's property is a veritable treasure trove. He doesn't believe in dumps nor does he believe in throwing anything away. Skip has lived there forever and was the first person this side of the Rockies to raise Longhorns.
The last time Ian and his friend Chance went "hunting" at Skips', they brought home a pair of size 6 leopard colored heels, a baskeball net with no net, a neck warmer filled with rice and a round, plastic disc-sled with only one crack in it.
Skip also has a 10 acre reservoir which I have creatively named "Skip's Reservoir."
Last summer, Ian, Chance, myself and Baily (my favorite 7 year old of all-time) spent as much time as possible at his reservoir. Baily and I floated around on a plastice  Tahiti that had only a few holes and Chance and Ian caught leeches. I think last summer was the only time I said, "Ian, get the leeches out of my car!" Now how many times in your life can you say that?
Ian is extremely excited about spending time with Skip. Skip is going to teach him how to use a welder, which is, as far as I'm concerned, the only legal way to melt metal. He's also going to take apart a tractor. When Skip told me this I said, "Why, what's wrong with it?"
"Nothing's wrong with it, it's just a good thing to know how to do."
I think so. I think it would be really, really cool to know how to take apart a tractor and when I mentioned that I'd like to maybe tag along, Ian said I couldn't. "This is only for boys, mom."
Sometimes it's okay to be sexist.

The First Day of School...Kind of

I worried all night that I couldn't figure out how to get to "my page" or I wouldn't remember how to get to the attendance page or I couldn't find what lessons we're supposed to work on. I didn't even need to stay up worrying about anything since we couldn't access anything.

Apparently when 12,000 or so people log in at the same time the system crashes. Again, I ask you, why do tech guys get paid so much when they can't even figure out simple things such as this. Granted, this was probably more complicated than the headphone issue, but still...at any rate, I no longer am impressed by people who say they "work with computers."

Needless to say, Ian got through one assessment before the system crashed (and this was after 45 minutes of waiting for the computer to login) and then went skateboarding.

So far this homeschool thing is working out real well for him - 1/2 hour of schooltime, 1.5 hours of watching mom move the mouse around to various windows trying to get into school, watching mom try and figure out where the speaker is on her cell phone so she can set it down while the tech guys answer the 11,346 people who are before her asking the same questions...why the hell can't we login??????????

So...first official day of school and Ian went skateboarding and I went to work.

Two Days Until Lift-Off

I finally finished all my Elluminate Training without too many hitches. Although there was one point when I was listening to one teacher and another one came in to my audio world. It was rather bizarre - I imagined that this was what it was like to take Meth and begin hearing voices in your head.

Humor is, as you know, a disguise for many things. My humor is a disguise for the fear I'm having regarding this year-long committment.

I'm worried I won't be as good a teacher to my son as I was to other people's children. I'm worried I'll yell at him or become frustrated or angry or irritated or any number of negative emotions.

Ian and I worked on setting up his "study space." He insists that it be in his room. We spent the morning rearranging furniture, setting up his computer, getting his books arranged and making file folders.

The first meltdown was when we had to move his bed. He insisted on one way - I insisted on another. This is, perhaps, the crux of the issue - that we both insist on something. Since I'm the adult I'm supposed to be able to bend and I will promise to work on this throughout the year.

The second meltdown was when I started designing file folders for him. It makes sense to me (again, probably another "crux of the issue") to have folders for every class and sub-folders in the class for work to be done and work that is done. No, he yelled, I can't handle all those different folders.

Again, another crux of the issue.

Now I have to begin my role as a teacher and figure out what will work best for Ian - not a mother just trying to get him to do something, anything, so we can move on to the next "something anything" we're supposed to do.

I'm starting to regret all the years in public schools when Ian would cry or be angry about how there's "too many things I'm supposed to do. Just when I get into something we're supposed to do something else."

I figured this was a skill Ian needed to learn. After all, we all need to do many things, many different things, sometimes at the same time, in order to "get something done."
50 minute classes seemed fine for me, especially when I taught high school and I didn't particularly like one particular student. But for Ian, 50 minutes probably feels like 10. Just when he's beginning to understand, or get into it, he has to change gears.

So this is what I'm looking forward to on Monday - letting Ian decide when he wants to change gears. I think this just might work...for him....I'm the one who's going to have to learn something/anything new for Ian.

Math----oh no

Math is what I'm most worried about. I cannot do math. I think there are books written about people like myself - a true math phobic.

When I was in high school I had a kind Geometry teacher who tried, to no avail, to convince me that Math would be important in my life. He said, "Here's  a real-life example. What if you wanted to re-roof your house-you would need to know Geometry to do that."

I said, "No, I would need to know how to use the yellow pages. I'm not getting on a roof."

My friend Sam, a fellow-English teacher, spent some of our time as teachers, trying to convince the left-brain Math teachers that you could live a successful life without knowing Math. Occasionally one of us would open up the door to our next-door teacher's room and interrupt his class with comments such as, "It's too bad you have to waste your time in this class...you'll never use it." One time she even ordered the video (before DVDs) "Donald Duck and Math." He was a good sport and showed it. But I think I'm going to need to do a search on this video - I do believe my level is about the Donald Duck one.

But you know, we have lived successful lives without Math. Sam is a school superintendant and I'm a college teacher.

However, that doesn't help  me when I open Ian's Math book and read the first paragraph that says " Expressions, equations, and inequalities express relationships between different entities."

What does this mean? How am I going to explain it to Ian?

I was the kind of Math student (and I use the term "math student" loosely) that when given a word problem such as "If Sally had 7 balls and gave three to Tom and one to Issac, how many were left?"  I would wonder why doesn't Sally play with the girls? Why does she need all those balls at once? Who is Tom? Who is Issac? Are they nice? I bet Sally doesn't play with the girls because they don't like her. Why don't they like her? Doesn't she have nice clothes? Why do Tom and Issac play with Sally and not the boys?

So I'm worried about Math and I think I'll hire a tutor-for Ian, not me, after all, I've been pretty successful without Math.

My first day of homeschooling

I'm a reluctant homeshool mom. I think people who homeschool are paranoid, crazy, ultra-religious and crazy. However, I've been forced to look my son's school in the eye (or the double doors) and see that it's only doing him harm. So I've joined COVA, which seems to be organized and intelligent and more knowable than myself.

Here's my first experience with COVA and school hasn't even begun. I spent 3.5 hours yesterday trying to get Elluminate to work, which apparently is some high tech software (it may not even been software - I've always been a little unclear as to what exactly the term "software" means) that will allow me to listen, see and respond to Ian's teachers; almost as if they are here.

I talked to the tech guys seven times and said "yes" to all their questions; I didn't dare want them to think I was an idiot, never mind that I'll never meet them.

After it was all said and done, my Elluminate wasn't working because I failed to plug in the headphones before I started the program. I guess plugging in the headphones after you start Elluminate sends the program into paroxysms of meltdown. You'd think the tech guys would do something about this.

I still have ten hours of training before I can introduce my 13 year old to the wonderful world of online learning.

I'd like to pretend I know more than him....but I don't think he can be fooled.

To all you homeschool parents and non-homeschool parents send my your traveling mercies-I think I'm going to need them.