The Wonders of a Glue Gun

We spent the weekend tearing off thirty years of bad roofing off The Crazy House. It was a fun-filled family weekend. I'm glad I have to work today.

But while loading the twelfth pickup load of shingles and roofing that I'm convinced is full of asbestos, I'm thinking there has to be a better way to replace the roof. And then it came to me, a humongous sized glue gun.

I've used my glue gun for all sorts of projects that I'm sure it's not designed for. Hemming pants. Gluing curtains to window frames rather than rods. Broken glass. Just yesterday, as I was thinking of a myriad of chores to do in the house to avoid the roofing outside and then I remembered that the kitchen sink was leaking.

I've never been so happy to have a leaking kitchen sink.

So I cleaned out the 64 beer bottles out from under the sink, moved all the cleaning liquids out and vacuumed up the mouse droppings (Obviously this new cat is not doing her job). The pipe from the sink to the pipe that goes to the drain (it probably has a name but I don't know it...) was just hanging there. It was an easy fix. About one minute to screw it back on. Which meant I had to go back outside to the job-from-hell much quicker than I had originally planned.

Ah-ha. Get out the glue gun. So I glued it in place-Mike would be so proud of me. This took two more minutes. So then I wandered around looking for things to glue. I glued a tear in Ian's sheet. I glued a book cover back on. I glued some bright blue bling onto a lamp shade that I was planning on giving to Goodwill. I glued a hole in one of my shoes, another item I was giving to Goodwill.

With wandering around the house looking for things to glue, I managed to waste 45 minutes. Unfortunately, the roofing was continuing to sail off the roof onto the ground and it was not magically weaving its way over to the burn pile.

But here's what I'm thinking. If you could invent a large enough glue gun, you wouldn't need nails or hammers anymore. You could use a glue gun to build a house. Even someone like myself could help in the building of a house if there was a glue gun. Just point and squeeze. And if it's in the wrong place, you just tear it a part and do it again. No more wrenching out nails. No more hitting your thumb with the hammer. No more nails weighing down your tool but...no more butt crack.

I really think I should stay in the house and refine this invention of mine.We could use a glue gun to glue the metal roofing on or if this works out like I think it might, we could hire real roofers to finish our roof. What the heck, we could buy a new house that already has a roof. I think I'm on to something.