Forced Family Fun

Ian has entered into the phase which Jordan fondly referred to as "Forced Family Fun." This is when, as the horrible, cruel parents that we are, force Ian to join us in family time. We are terrible. We demand that he go to museums with us or go hiking or go out lunch. Jordan's most horrendous times were spent fishing with us. Ian's most horrendous times are just about anything that entails spending time away from the skate park.

Mike and I are the kind of annoying parents that like to do things as a family. I remember many times when Jordan was the charming age of 14 that we'd go fishing and Jordan spent the entire time attempting to make our lives miserable. Mike and I learned the fine art of ignoring although I do remember one distinct moment, walking by Jordan as he half-heartedly threw rocks out into the lake next to his fishing pole and for a moment, just a moment, I wanted to push him in.

When I was growing up my grandfather would say, when he too was demanding of my precious time, "You better quit whining or I'll give you something to whine about." My mother, while taking us to a drive-in money with her hard-earned cash as a single mom would turn around in the car and yell at my sister and I "If you two don't quit your bitching, I'm dumping you both off right here and you can walk home." So you can see that the idea of Forced Family Fun is a tradition spanning multiple generations.

When Ian and I first got to Redmond, every weekend we'd do something  together; the museum, hiking, shopping in Sisters, Oregon, going to Peterson's Rock Garden and it really was fun. But this was before he had any friends. Now he wants nothing to do with Mike and I, especially on the weekends. Yesterday we went Christmas shopping for people other than Ian; he was not happy about that. We went out to lunch, we strolled through the mall, we ate candy canes and listened to Christmas music.

Ian shuffled behind us pretending he was born of the Virgin Mary and every four and a half minutes piteously said, "Can we go now?"

The irony of Forced Family Fun is that both our kids think that we enjoy it. Seriously. Do they think Mike and I want to spend time with them listening to them whine, cry, complain and whine, cry, complain some more?I would rather be riding my horse who does not talk and I know Mike would rather be watching the Denver Broncos.

Last year for Christmas, Jordan, who is now 23, asked for a fishing pole.

It's funny what our kids remember about their upbringing. I remember a lot of fun times because I think Mother Nature blocks out all those bad memories, sort of the same idea that when you get in a car crash you really don't remember it.

 I said "A fishing pole?"
"Yeah, remember when we used to go fishing all the time, that was so fun."

This is what inspires, no, forces me to make Ian spend all those horrible moments with his terrible parents - I really am doing the right thing.