Our First Major Decision

Mike and I made our first major decision regarding our new home at Home Depot and we didn't even get into a huge argument about it. Sort of.

This crazy house has wide plank pine wood floor which are in rough shape. I think it'd be very vogue to refinish them, Mike does not. He says we can't because they're sub-floors. What does that mean to me? Nothing. He tried explaining to me that it means there's just insulation and then the ground. What does that mean to me? Nothing.  Sub-flooring, Mike quietly explained in front of Martha from Home-Depot, is what you put floors on top of, you do not live on them. Martha discreetly left to go help another couple...good luck with that Martha.

Martha probably hears a lot of these discussions in Home-Depot. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Home Depot employees don't have training in relationship counseling.

There's a lot of eye rolling in the Home Depot aisles, from both sexes. On our way to look at counter tops, we heard another couple in a heated discussion regarding lights. He wanted to buy the $2.87 ones that were on sale. She did not. She wanted the more expensive ones in her hand. I agree with her, the ones on sale were ugly; that's why they were on sale.

In the counter top section we agree that we are going for a laminate- it's inexpensive and they have them so they look like granite. It was the edging that set us off into another discussion. Mike wanted one kind, I wanted another. He told me that that one I wanted would be too hard to clean. I reminded him that he never cleans the kitchen anyway. Jud, the counter guy, walked back to his computer and ducked his head down over his keyboard.

Here's what we agreed on - bamboo floors (they were on sale) and Mike's going to install them (even though Home Depot will install them for only $300, which is what I think we should do). We tabled the counter top argument (which I'm pretty confident I'll win) and didn't even talk about the bathroom redo.

One step at a time when you remodel a house with your spouse. If I don't say a word about putting a shop in the barn, he'll leave me alone when it comes to replacing all the appliances with ones that are all the same color....Mike thinks cream and white are the same....

It's all about what battles you choose to fight. I suggested we go to separate rooms (hard to do in this apartment) and write down our ideas for this new place and then come together and compromise. What does compromise mean in a marriage? It means that one person gives up something one time and the other person gives up something another time. It does not mean meeting in the middle.

This means I won't get my wide plank floors but I will get heated tiles in the bathroom. It means Mike will get to take over half the barn for his shop but I will get book shelves in the guest room. It means Mike will get to cut down some trees but I will get French doors. It means Mike can have a huge file cabinet in the office but I get to pick out the paint for the entire house.

He doesn't know any of the above. It's important to let your husband THINK he's making all the major decisions but you know better.