Here's what I'm interested in regarding our new house; decorating. Paint, bedding, towels, counter tops, rugs, fun stuff like that. Here's what Mike is interested in: cematious siding, insulation levels, square feet of anything that might have a square foot, fireplace vents.
Here's what I think about that; BORING.
When we redid our bathroom downstairs in Granby the only thing that was fun was picking out tile, shower curtain and towels. When Alfaro (Mike did not do this bathroom - that's a whole other story.) he asked if he should put copper piping or flexible PVC, did I care? No. (Does anyone out there know what PVC stands for?) When he asked where the new thermostat should go, did I care? No...regarding that, I probably should have since he put it inside the vanity because the wiring was already there...can't you move wiring?
When I tell Mike I want to take out this pony wall (I actually know what that is) because I don't like it, he proceeds to tell me why I can't (something to do with a support something or other) or when I want him to put book shelves all the way to the ceiling in the living room, once again he tells me I can't (something to do with no bearings to hook to) bearings? I thought that meant "I can't get my bearings out here in the wilderness, therefor I am lost.)
I want the remodeling/decorating of my house to be like that on HGTV. They can redo an entire kitchen in a half hour. Granted, they probably have all the material in the garage ready to go and they don't have to argue at Home Depot (see previous Blog) but still, a HALF HOUR!!! I can't even get Mike to commit to a paint color in a half hour.
So this is why I don't tell Mike anything about decorating. If I was to tell him that we need to buy all new pillows for our couch to fit in with the new colors, he would want to know why we can't use the old ones (never mind the fact that I gave them away before we moved.) I guess I could just buy a new couch; now there's a thought... I told him, while in Home Depot, that I was in charge of decorating and he was merely the unpaid laborer. Probably not a good choice of words. But let's face it, if men have a TV, a comfy chair to sit in in front of the TV and some sort of table (a box will do)to put their beer on, they think their house is decorated.
This is one of those "topics of discussion" that talk shows and Dr. Phil base their livelihood on. This is why the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is so popular...decorating a home.
Here's what I have learned. If you can, hire someone to do all the peon labor. Occasionally show your husband a small slice of what you're doing (like a scrap of fabric which really doesn't even have to be related to the new room - he'll never know) and ask what he thinks. This will confuse him because A-he's not sure what to think about color and B-you SEEM to be interested in his opinion and once again, he will be confused. Keep talking about how well the remodeling is going and throw in phrases such as "Alfaro probably isn't as good as you, but we're only paying him $15 dollars per hour," or "I think you were probably right about the heated tiles, that was a good idea," and then hand him a beer.
The key to decorating and staying married is letting your husband believe he's making all these decisions. I've actually taken tile back to Home Depot that Mike has picked out that is just plain butt-ugly and then convinced him that the tile I've picked out instead are the ones he picked out. I've done a lot of decorating and remodeling without Mike knowing anything about it. One time I bought a new fridge when he was on a business trip and he didn't even notice until about a week later. I saw him staring, confused, at the new fridge, but he never did say anything.
I have many plans for this new house and none of them Mike needs to know about. It's how I keep peace and after all, I have been married for 28 years.
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