Mike will be here this afternoon. He left Vale, Oregon about 8 a.m. and a normal person would take about six hours to get here. Mike and I do many things well together; we play well together, we raise our kids well together, we still enjoy each other's company. One thing we do not do well together is "Get Ready to Travel." We travel well together, but we DO NOT "Get Ready to Travel" well together.
I like a schedule. I like to have motel rooms, lodging and directions planned ahead of time. I like my bag packed the night before. I do not like to get to Arizona and realize I have not packed my swimsuit. I do not like to drive aimlessly around a strange town or a dark forest at night hoping a camping spot miraculously appears. I do not like to rely on a 10 year old Atlas to find my way anywhere in the United States. I like to know there are places to stay at night. I like to have the printed page of the Google map in my hand when we leave our driveway. And I like to leave our driveway on time.
Since Mike is bringing my horse I have already pre-arranged boarding. I have sent him the Google directions on how to get to the horse boarding spots. I have talked to the people who run these places. I know and have relayed this information to Mike, as to what he needs when he gets there. However, Mike is the kind of traveler that puts a horse in a horse trailer and forgets to put the hay in the trailer, that I specifically left for him WITH A NOTE ON THE HAY THAT SAID "BRING THIS HAY." This is why he calls me at 10 pm from Evanston, Wyoming wanting to know if he can feed my horse alfalfa cubes since he's forgotten the hay.
There are many things wrong with this. One - Mike and I have been married 28 years and he should know by now not to let me know that he has: forgotten the hay, forgotten the locks for the horse trailer and the stall and lost the directions. I haven't seen Mike in three months however after that conversation I no longer wanted to see him. Two- he did not leave Granby at 8 am, he left at 11. I'm the person in our relationship that says, "It's 8:05, we were supposed to leave 5 minutes ago. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
In Vale, Oregon, the second night of his trip, I have arranged for my horse to stay at the vet clinic. I have orally communicated to Mike the directions to get there, the phone number of the clinic and IF he is not there by a certain time he needs to call the phone number (of which I have given him) and leave a message so someone can be there to let him in.
Don't ask.
Maybe I'm a bit paranoid when it comes to Mike and my horse. Mike can fix, repair and build anything, which he does a lot of because of my horse. But he still hasn't figured out that when it comes to horses you really have to prepare for the worse case scenario because, let's face it, horses are large animals with small brains.
Mike called me while he was having Chaco's feet trimmed. He thought it was funny that Chaco untied himself then wandered into the chicken coop. He thought it was funny that five minutes later after he re-tied him, Chaco actually crawled underneath the hitching post and ended up on the other side. Okay, Chaco is an entertaining horse, but he's also the same horse who got himself tangled in old wire at a neighbors because SOMEONE left the gate unlatched (that was a $180 vet bill.) He's the kind of horse that ended up at another neighbor's in his pasture chasing his cows, SOMEONE left the gate unlatched (the neighbor called the sheriff who fortunately did not give me ticket, just a warning for a "nuisance animal.")
I can't wait until Mike gets here safely .....okay, I can't wait until my horse gets here safely. I hope he can find Redmond, Oregon. I hope he remembered to put gas in the truck.
I hope he remembered to put my horse in the trailer.
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