Out of Grand County

Last weekend we were in Parker watching Ian at a skate competition. No, he didn't win anything but I guess he's closer to becoming a pro...according to him. He says I'm not a supportive parent because I'm not on board for this "DROPPING OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL AND BECOMING A PROFESSIONAL SKATEBOARDER"  goal. I told him to bring that up in therapy....

Afterwards we went to a mall in Parker which apparently is an expensive one because it doesn't have a Target which means I couldn't use my gift card. It did have a store which sold nothing but handbags (not purses, handbags) and the one I was admiring was $2,000. But it was faux leopard which technically means material, but don't tell the woman who was buying one that.

In Grand County I try to dress better than most of the people here, which means I don't wear pajamas to the post office. I thought I looked good - I had on khaki Capri's with these cute little brass buttons and a blue print shirt which is supposed to highlight the thinnest part of my body (which is really my hair, but they don't make clothes that highlight your hair) and a pair of darling turquoise sandals and...my toenails were painted purple. For shopping at City Market, which is usually the only shopping I do, I looked pretty damm good. But not for this mall.

Most of the women I observed while sipping a four dollar Orange Julius, had hair highlights that cost more than my monthly car payment. One woman had on turquoise sandals similar to mine, but hers were leather, not faux plastic, so I'm pretty sure they cost more than $9.99. I think one of the women was carrying the $2,000 handbag.

Feeling insecure, fat and poor, I wandered into a Sonoma Williams store; it's kind of like the kitchen section at Target, but more expensive and confusing. I stood for 45 minutes in front of the utensil section and realized that if I bought one of each I could spend $1,964. There were toast tongs with a magnet (why do you need a magnet for toast - is bread now magnetic and I missed that?) There was an olive wood cheese plane (where do Olive wood trees grow?) There was an ebelskiver, which I don't know what that is and I'm not looking it up because I'm pretty sure that in my kitchen I will never use it. There was a Tecnivora Moccamaster Coffee Maker for $392 - you can get a Mr. Coffee at the Goodwill for about five bucks. There were silicone spatulas, finishing salts in pink,black and white and various shaped Italian cheese knives. There was also a cheese board that looked suspiciously like the slate I find in my yard, but this was $40 so it's probably not the same. 

This was what I deduced from my astute observations of people shopping in Parker. There is no recession. Many people have high paying jobs. There are thousands of high-maintenance women and my husband is very lucky.

And I should probably stay in Grand County...I should probably stick with Target.