Girls have entered the picture.
Ian had two friends stay the night last week and they did a lot of wandering around town and taking walks, which I thought was kind of strange, but they are 14 and most everything they do is strange. The wandering and taking walks had to do with girls.Where once there were three boys hanging out downstairs, there were now two girls who had joined the mixture. Nice girls. I invited them up for tacos with the boys and they were polite and one had a Golden Retriever which in my book made her very likable. But they were still girls.
Ian told me Conner is going out with one of the girls. How can they go out, I asked, he doesn't have a car, he doesn't have a job, he's only 14, what do you mean by going out?
Ian ignored me. He thinks I'm crazy, especially when I start telling him to stay away from girls, they're nothing but bad news, really, just ask your dad.
Conner couldn't tell me what he means by going out either. I think it means they wander around town and take a lot of walks.
This all brought up the subject of kissing, which happens when you're in a car with three 14 year old boys. They start razzing each other about kissing and girls and ugly girls and cute girls and cool girls and desperate girls and weird girls and kissing. Conner says Ian has kissed three girls and proceeded to name all three of them. I know them. I'm going to call their mothers and tell them to keep their daughters away from my innocent child.
I think it's time Mike had the sex talk again. Last winter we had one when I saw that he was looking at "questionable" sites on his computer- this would be about our fourth. Ian told Mike he knew everything and no, he didn't have any questions.(I bet he didn't know that girls are evil.....) Then I brought him home a brand new book from the library titled "The Boy's Book of Questions on your Changing Body." It was cute, it had funny drawings and diagrams, much like Ian's favorite series of books, "The Diary of a Wimpy Kid." I set it on his bed, precisely in the middle, and waited for us to have a heart-to-heart. I don't think 14 year old boys have heart-to-hearts with their mothers, only their dads. But the only thing Ian was interested in from the book was how tall he was going to get. There was a chart where you did some sort of complicated math (the only time Ian has enjoyed math) that estimated how tall you were going to be. Ian is the smallest in his class, which is why I never think of him being interested in girls. He does keep raising his arms and showing me that he's getting hair under there, but I can't see it. And he still breaks down in giggles when either his dad or I say the word "penis" so I just can't see him interested in girls.
But he is, so I guess I better start my ranting and raving on how he needs to stay away and they're only interested in one thing and it's not your mind....oh wait a minute, that's boys. Maybe I should call the girls' parents and tell them that they should keep their girls away from these 14 year old boys, that they're only interested in one thing and it's not their minds. But I tried this with Jordan and it didn't work - he still had girlfriends and I was nice and open and made tacos for them secretly wishing they didn't even exist and that they'd stay away from my innocent 16 year old boy.
None of this works. Boys with girls are inevitable and Mike needs to have the sex talk with Ian again...that's his job.
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