I have been looking for a job in Oregon for about two months now. I'm discouraged. I know, many people across this great nation of ours have been looking for a job for six or seven years. The problem with me is that I'm not used to rejection and it's starting to affect my self-esteem and for those of you who know me, my self-esteem is quite high. I'm the person who is always surprised to find out someone doesn't like me; I think there must be something wrong with them because it couldn't possibly be me.
But job hunting has been demanding on my ego and my patience. I am to the point where I just may call one of these obviously stupid department heads and demand why they haven't hired me immediately. I have come to the conclusion that they aren't looking at my brilliantly wrought cover letters or my impeccable resume or the glowing references I've bribed people to write.
I received one rejection email (which has become another pet peeve of mine...rejection emails???Not even a rejection letter on thick letterhead??) that said I did not have the degree necessary. Apparently a Masters in Humanities is not the same as a Masters in English...did the woman even look at the transcripts I spent $40 getting to her? It's the same thing. I had a sarcastic and beautifully written email response to her, but Mike came in and nicely suggested that I not send it. I put it in my draft folder - I may still need it.
One community college (which shall remain un-named in case part of it catches on fire for some unknown reason) has been posting the same job for two months, with no closing date and nothing to indicate that the Human Resource People even look at the applications. It says "Teacher Pool," and I figure that if the department needs another teacher the head of this department just hangs his or her head out his office door and says, "Hey Bill, you want to teach another writing class next semester?" They aren't looking for more teachers - they are all just sitting around reading the sweat-and-tears cover letters in the faculty room during lunch and posting the ones they find the most hilarious on the wall.
I'm applying for a job at another community college who shall also remain un-named for the same above reason, that wants a "Statement of Philosophy on Teaching at a Community College." I'm a pretty decent BS'er, but even I don't know what to write. I don't even know what it means. I've been churning ideas around in my head regarding this and so far this is all I have: Community Colleges accept anyone (they're kind of like the Cherokees - they take anyone and if you ever run into anyone who thinks their great-grandmother on their cousin Jake's side was Indian - it'll be a Cherokee, trust me. ), they're a good place for students to hang out if they don't know what they want to do, they're a good place for older men to date younger girls and they're cheap (the colleges, not the girls...well, maybe the girls too.) I'm pretty sure this is not what they want to hear.
I'll probably write something that means absolutely nothing and send it to my friend Laura, who will then fix it for me and I'll then get the job (or maybe she'll get the job?)
Mike says I should call the department heads and talk to them. He says most people like me right off the bat (I think there must be something more implied in that, but my ego is suffering, so I didn't want to pursue the "right off the bat" idea...then what, they don't??) I think I might do this for one job. I'd really like it but I don't have a Masters in Social Development ( what the heck is that?) but I would be good at the job. It's all about developing programs which I love especially if I can get someone else to do the work.
I know that the right job will come (tell that to the people who've been looking for seven years) but it is discouraging. Especially since I think I'm a better teacher than most teachers...see what I mean about high self-esteem? But I'll keep pursuing and pursuing and try not to send off a nasty sarcastic email, at least until I get a job. Then it'll read something like" Dear Ms. Head of Your Stupid Department, I'm sorry for you that I didn't get the job. I'm now working at (fill in the blank) at a salary of $100,000 per year and don't have to go to any meetings unless I call them. Too bad for you that now your department will always be merely mediocre. Oh well, I'll see you at the Awards Ceremony. Sincerely, Gina Ricketts, Head of All of the Colleges in Oregon."
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