Way Too Much Time

I have decided that yes, you can spend too much time with your children. They probably think the same.

I know parents who when their children graduate they are inconsolable. They can't imagine their household without Jen or Bob or whomever. When my oldest boy Jordan, who is now 22, graduated from high school, I was counting the days down until he left for college. Not that I put it on the calendar in big red marker (okay, it was on the calendar, but in blue ink) but I was looking forward to the fact that it would be one less thing I'd have to take care of.

There are three boys in my household and I include my husband in this formula. So when Jordan left, it meant only two people to take care of. I was kind of sad but in retrospect, not really. This was the period in Jordan's life that he answered in grunts, thought his hands were glued to texting on the phone and wondered why he had to help clean up the kitchen, after all, he didn't cook dinner (i.e. make the mess). Of course, this is the same kid that one night at dinner I mentioned that we needed to call the butcher to get our pig butchered and he turned to me and said, "We have a pig?"

Thus, I wasn't heartbroken that he was leaving. When certain mothers cornered me in the post office and told me that they cried their eyes out when there sons/daughters left home I really realized that, once again, Mother-of-the-Year was beyond my grasp. I also thought these particular mothers should probably get a job or maybe paint the bathroom.

I know, I know, all you "together" moms are aghast that I haven't taught the males in my family to be more self-sufficient, but trust me, it hasn't been for lack of trying. However, I believe, after 27 years of marriage and two male children, that the male species is genetically incapable of certain acts. Such as thoroughly cleaning a bathroom or putting a cup in the dishwasher or shutting a cupboard door or letting the dogs out in the morning.

So what does this have to do with homeschooling and the title of this episode?

I optimistically think that Ian will be my saving grace. He will be the male child that will become the perfect husband role model and it will be all because of my expert training. Never mind that just this minute, rather than moving the chair out of his doorway, he climbed over it...seriously, he just did.

I will take more time, more patience, more understanding, more knowledge and develop a funny, kind, sensitive man that sees that a diaper needs changing without his wife telling him. He will see that the garbage needs to be delivered to the can rather than walking around it. He will get rid of the gunk in the bottom of the sink after doing dishes. He will make the bed and put all the decorative pillows on it. He will put the butter away. He will lift the top of the dirty clothes hamper and put his underwear in it, rather than on it.

That's all I have to do.  I've got seven more months to teach Ian these few things.

Think I can?