Here's the reality of being a homeschool mom to a 13 year old boy who only wishes to skateboard; you occasionally wish the floor in his bedroom would mysteriously open up and he would disappear into an abyss and he could only come back into the Now World if he promises to only say nice things.
So far my son: hates me, I disappoint him, I don't understand, and by far my favorite - LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!
I hired a nice young man as a tutor for math because, as you know, I have never seen the need for math (little did I know I'd be homeschooling...they should tell you this in high school, then maybe you'd pay attention.)I thought a tutor would be great. Apparently not. Apparently only the stupid kids have tutors. I reminded him that his brother has a tutor in college for Economics. I reveled in my own days as a tutor and as a college student who needed a tutor for Spanish. I made up a story that his dad also needed a tutor in math. I explained that a tutor was to make him even better, after all, he's already been bumped up one level. His reply..."I'm not going and you can't make me." Can't I? I'm not sure anymore.
Before I homeschooled my son I was quite secure in my role as a college teacher and most-of-the-time good mom (I will admit, I will not make "Mother-of-the-Year."), but I thought I knew my son. Not true.
I thought I knew my son after I read the book "Raising Your Spirited Child." I checked away at the personality tests and believed I now knew how to change what I viewed as negative behaviors into positive ones. All I had to do, according to the book, was merely change my word usage, then all would be bliss and we'd all get along and no one would ever slam a door in my house and yell, "I hate you." For example, rather than use the word "stubborn" you use the word "tenacious."
It doesn't work. No matter what words I use I'm still frustrated with my bright, humorous and lively son. He's still recalcitrant and obnoxious and rude and spoiled and self-centered.
So then, like all good parents I go back over all the parenting mistakes I've made (remember - I'll never make "mother-of-the-year.") and feel sad and guilty and depressed and wonder how long it'll be before he starts using drugs just to get away from me. Probably much sooner than before since he's stuck at home with me now.
But you know, I'm not giving up. I believe that a good education is the key to equality and I believe that I'm doing a better job than the schools around here. I'm going to keep telling him he has to redo things until they are of a higher quality. I'm going to keep asking him to think. I'm going to remind him not to be rude to me or his dad or his friends.
No matter how many times he storms out of the room or throws himself onto his bed in frustration, I will be there. No matter how many times I wish I could have someone else do this, it's too hard, I don't know what I'm doing and what did I do in another life to deserve this...I will be there because I do know that even when I don't change the words, he's still smart and funny and inventive.
And he's stuck with me, come hell or high water.
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